When I look back I find myself as a person who immediately reacted and bounced back to every situation. I was among those who don’t take long to reply back , if somebody used to insult me in one way, I had thousand ways to insult that person and I was extremely good in that. If someone used to hurt me , I had the capacity to hurt that person 10 times more to take the revenge.Typically, for me, that ongoing events were not at all what’s caused me to react so quickly. It’s always something else that was weighing my mind, at the forefront or in some little nook. From my point of views it was nothing but my EGO…
When I notice What has actually changed inside me after a series of events, some life changing experiences and age, then the first is- I don’t REACT instantly now, rather I sit back, pause for a while and then I RESPOND. Now I find “Reacting” as a very revengeful act which has no logic associated. Recently somebody criticized me over certain things which are not true about me, that person simply perceived that without any supporting reason. I decided not to give justification or any reaction then, after few days when I spoke to that person about that incident and validated my points, then that person not only apologized but promised me to change his way of thinking for others as well.
There is a huge difference between REACTING and RESPONDING. Most of us are tend to react upon the situations not they don’t really respond. Sometimes we regret after reacting to an event, and think that we should have given a thought to it before taking this step.
There are gulf differences between both Reacting and Responding. To change the habit of Reacting , We need to know the essentials of both so that we can compare and act accordingly –
When We React-
When we are not comfortable with what is being happening around ,what we receive from others in the form of communication or any other way, then instantly our emotions start taking position. We notice stomach turn , our face heats up and we answer. We let our emotions drive us to any direction without a reason. We loose self control and do the things which we ourselves consider wrong. There are just the outcomes of Reactions. Sometimes people take the advantage of this habit and knowingly fire the situation and force us to react.
I consider only one positive outcome of these emotion driven reactions, i.e. Passion, We start few things with full conviction without thinking of the final result , here the faith takes over the charge and we end up achieving the desired result but our passion needs to be centered on purpose, not an unexpected, unproductive stimulus.
When We Respond-
I consider “Respond” as a thoughtful version of “React”. When reasons, logic and the consideration of reaction combine together then we don’t react, we respond. In nutshell , Responding is less driven by emotions and more by logic.
We have heard it “ Think Before You Speak” – that’s the mechanism of Response.
The upside of a solid response is an engaging conversation, all positive and all civil. We learn. We grow. We listen. We respond. We act forthrightly and from within. When you notice that here’s a time to answer, Put that moment into perspective-when that thing or moment causes you to react in such a short tempered manner you really need to dig deeper. Think about the effects of that event onto your life and the relevance of your immediate reaction. Think the effect of your words on others. If it doesn’t give you a positive feeling then I would suggest you not to do it.