Survivor

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Looking into the Mirror , I meet a warrior.
Injured at times but ready to conquer.

Overruling the odds ,I am tough as a rock.
I may not sound pleasant but I am not fake,
I still don’t look so strong but now my soul is too tough to Break.

Transformation is not an overnight thing, its a process,
I am gentle and slow but making progress.

Yes, I am not perfect but I am trying my best…
Looking into the mirror, I meet a warrior..                                              download.jpg

Quitting Brings Peace Sometimes-5 Things to Quit for A Peaceful Life.

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Quitting is never easy. When we are addict to something, any habit or a person then it becomes a tough task for us to get rid of it and make a fresh start. But human has a tendency of adopting changes with the passes of time. Few adopt it by choice and few adopt it when they have no other choice. When we are destined to quit so many of our desired habits, have to leave few people and go towards “Never in Plans” directions, Then Why not to quit few things to make a peaceful and rewarding future for ourselves. In addition of some unwelcomed unplanned “Quit’s” , Here I am sharing a list of some QUITS to start a peaceful life-

1- Quit Planning Too Much for Future: The reason of the most of our heartbreaks and pains is- “Future Planning”. A person gets hurt the most when his future plans fail. Then why not to live in present? Tomorrow is unpredictable but if we focus on staying happy today and making the best of our present days then we can be a little sure of witnessing a great future. Our days today itself define our days of “Tomorrow”. So my one strategy of happiness is- Quit Planning for Future.

2- Quit Making Everyone Happy: It’s called a great human quality if a person keeps everybody happy around him. But do you ever notice that a person has to put himself down sometimes during this process. Select the people who are good to you and try to keep you happy , I am sure your effort of doing this will be well rewarded and you will end up with a tiny list of those handful people who are actually concerned about your happiness. Do sacrifices for them and Think of their happiness. For rest of the world- Don’t do wrong with others but don’t try to please them.

3- Quit Blaming Yourself: I am among those people who used to blame my own self for many things which dint turn up positively. Recently I made a turn and starting noticing the real cause of few events. I was surprised to see that I was nowhere wrong,I accepted my faults , I forgave people, I trusted them , I made the best of my efforts to make the things possible but it was actually the faults of others , they were tricksters!! Don’t blame yourself for not getting something that you desired for with full heart, because it might have happened because of the fault of somebody else.
4- Quit Building Expectations: Being nice to someone is your choice but it doesn’t guarantee that others will be equally nice to you. Its very natural that we start expecting good for ourselves when we treat people good. But your heart doesn’t drive others’, they have their own minds , Sometimes Noble -Sometimes Wicked! If you don’t expect from people then certainly noble ones will surprise you but the wicked ones will not get a chance to hurt you. Don’t keep hopes from others , just make your own way of happiness!!
5- Quit Thinking Much About “Anything”- We pressurize ourselves by giving a lot of energy in thinking about any particular incident/person/ plan. Be it anything of Past , Present or Future, Don’t think much. Better to leave few things on time and Enjoy the show!! Life becomes interesting when we encounter something unplanned!! Leave few things unfold in your future. You know Mystery has its own Charm and Thrill!!
These 4 are very easy things to do with little but continuous efforts!! Make your own list of “Quitting” that can be proven a step towards personal healing and happiness!!

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More Later,

The Unanswered Questions…

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There is a saying “What we seek is seeking us”. I am among those who firmly believe in such statements. But there are many people among us who struggle a lot due to their own thoughts, They keep on fighting a war inside their own mind. Despite seeking the answers of few questions, they left unanswered. There are many such questions which remain unanswered for a long time.We try to move forward with passing days but somewhere deep inside us those questions keep punching us. Their punches become so hard at times that we feel an extremely painful restlessness and crave to get the answers anyhow. As there is nobody in the outer world to answer so we return with disappointment and it adds more burden over our hearts and next time these punches become even harder.

Do we ever try to know why we have to become a victim of such situations? Who punches exactly on our souls?? These are our own heavy chains of expectations from people and relationships which keep on haunting us. We become the prisoner of our self-created cell. “We are the most responsible person for our happiness”- Widely heard Statement, Right? So isn’t it our responsibility to free ourselves from the chains of the past and from those expectations that will never be met by the people. Who cares for us, will never leave us in such situations, and who doesn’t care should not have a grip on our souls to punch us.

So what has to be done to be free from these chains which are bounded and wounded our souls.

Sharing few widely said practices to remove this burden-

1-   Let all the questions flow into your mind, let them come, Feel them then eliminate the ones that are not going to affect your future in any positive way. It’s not a tough task, We mainly worry about such hypothetical situations that may never occur in our lives. To free ourselves we need to identify such thoughts and start leaving them away.

2- Ask Yourself – Do you have those willing people around who can answer you? If not then better not to keep thinking about it because our own thoughts will only add more to these questions without giving any answer, practice the 1st point mentioned above and set yourself free.

3- Forgive Other to the Most Possible Limit– There are certain events which a person can’t forget and my little experience says that our characters are made of such unforgettable events only because we learn the most out of such events.. And mostly we fail to forgive the person who caused that event. Any loss is not big enough to spoil your life, God always compensates us so well for all the losses. So try to forgive people who have not been good to you. It will not help them but you, the less you curse, the less you think and lesser your soul will be burdened.

4- Focus on Making a Great Today- We all have inherent potentials that can lead us to great accomplishments. A bitter past has nothing to do with our present. Make peace with your past and focus on present. This peace will eventually come when you will decide to set yourself free from the chains of past. It’s always in our hands to discover our talents and use your potential in the right direction. We need to divert our thoughts from painful past to promising present. Do all that can raise your mark in both your personal and professional life. Time is the best doctor and best judge, leave few things on the universe. Everyone gets the return of his deeds.

5- There is an old saying– “ Everything happens for a reason”. Our questions start decreasing when we truly accept this fact. We can’t see those reasons at the first place but sooner or later we get to know the reason of everything. If you feel that you were treated bad , then be assured God already has planned to compensate it by rewarding you with something extremely good and the one who treated you bad will pay for it someday.

Among many other ways, This is my way to deal with unanswered questions. We have heard it many times but don’t implement. Set yourself free from the chains of those questions, Life has much more to offer us , we only need the eyes to see the good things happening around. Have faith, Almighty is the most honest judge. Focus on your present , Rest all will be taken care by the justice of nature!!

 

And I Stopped Reacting…

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When I look back I find myself as a person who immediately reacted and bounced back to every situation. I was among those who don’t take long to reply back , if somebody used to insult me in one way, I had thousand ways to insult that person and I was extremely good in that. If someone used to hurt me , I had the capacity to hurt that person 10 times more to take the revenge.Typically, for me, that ongoing events were not at all what’s caused me to react so quickly. It’s always something else that was weighing my mind, at the forefront or in some little nook. From my point of views it was nothing but my EGO… 

When I notice What has actually changed inside me after a series of events, some life changing experiences and age, then the first is- I don’t REACT instantly now, rather I sit back, pause for a while and then I RESPOND. Now I find “Reacting” as a very revengeful act which has no logic associated. Recently somebody criticized me over certain things which are not true about me, that person simply perceived that without any supporting reason. I decided not to give justification or any reaction then, after few days when I spoke to that person about that incident and validated my points, then that person not only apologized but promised me to change his way of thinking for others as well.

There is a huge difference between REACTING and RESPONDING. Most of us are tend to react upon the situations not  they don’t really respond. Sometimes we regret after reacting to an event, and think that we should have given a thought to it before taking this step.

There are gulf differences between both Reacting and Responding. To change the habit of Reacting , We need to know the essentials of both so that we can compare and act accordingly –

When We React-

When we are not comfortable with what is being happening around ,what we receive from others in the form of communication or any other way, then instantly our emotions start taking position. We notice stomach turn , our face heats up and we answer. We let our emotions drive us to any direction without a reason. We loose self control and do the things which we ourselves consider wrong. There are just the outcomes of Reactions. Sometimes people take the advantage of this habit and knowingly fire the situation and force us to react.

I consider only one positive outcome of these emotion driven reactions, i.e. Passion, We start few things with full conviction without thinking of the final result , here the faith takes over the charge and we end up achieving the desired result but our passion needs to be centered on purpose, not an unexpected, unproductive stimulus.

When We Respond-

I consider “Respond” as a thoughtful version of  “React”. When reasons, logic and the consideration of reaction combine together then we don’t react, we respond. In nutshell , Responding is less driven by emotions and more by logic. 

We have heard it “ Think Before You Speak” – that’s the mechanism of Response.

The upside of a solid response is an engaging conversation, all positive and all civil. We learn. We grow. We listen. We respond. We act forthrightly and from within. When you notice that here’s a time to answer, Put that moment into perspective-when that thing or moment causes you to react in such a short tempered manner you really need to dig deeper. Think about the effects of that event onto your life and the relevance of your immediate reaction. Think the effect of your words on others. If it doesn’t give you a positive feeling then I would suggest you not to do it. 

So-

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That’s Exactly What I Want !! – Clear Goal Setting

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We start a journey only after deciding the destination. Isn’t it? Can we reach our desired place without a clear mindset about where we want to end up? I am sure We can’t. In such case our situation will be like a flying plane without a landing plan. Same goes with the achievements also. We have to set the goal to achieve our desired results in every aspect of life. Personal Life- Professional Life balance is a much talked topic now a days because of the blind horse race that most of us are participating into. People Dream ,People Think a Lot, People spend years and years in planning but they don’t strategize their plans so mostly they don’t get any desired result out of their “Long Possessed Plans” ,Here the need of Clear  Goal setting arises.

“Nothing can stop a man with right mental attitude from achieving his goal, nothing on earth can help a man with wrong attitude” – W.W. Ziege

Life is all about priorities and thoughts. We end up there, where we devote our energy and imagination. So setting clear short term and long term goals are the essentials to be successful.

Sharing few steps ,that can help you to define the goals and move forward accordingly-

1- Set Clear Desires- Recognize What you love to do and find someone who can pay you to do that? What you want others to say about you at the end of your life? What is your dream life? Visualize yourself in the pictures of your life at a gap of few years.  Set comparatively higher goal to achieve than your actual desire.

2-  Give A Deadline to Yourself and Plan After deciding the destination , we decide how to reach there, similarly Once you know what you want then plan how to reach there.  When we put a time limit to do something then we get a motivation from inside to remain focused and complete the task. So decide a deadline for each of your plan. Focus on achieving your short term goals first and then work on long term ones. We can’t complete the journey by counting all the turns at the starting point , we have to focus on the upcoming turn only to reach our destination.

3- Announce Your Plans-  I wanted to write a book since so long but somehow there was a lack of zeal. Soon I realized it and informed the people that I am writing a book and will complete it soon. Later people started asking me about the content and progress, it created a pressure to complete it on time with good content in it and I started working on my book seriously, as the result soon I’ll write it’s final chapter!! 🙂 When we tell people that we are planning a thing then it creates a pressure upon us to achieve it, because if we don’t then society considers it as a failure and no one wants to be called FAILED! Use this social pressure in your favour.

4- Discuss – Discuss with your friends, family and other trusted ones about your plans. We get ideas when we communicate, you can get a better strategy to achieve your goal by discussing about your plan. Enlist the people who have the knowledge of the subject matter and take their opinion. May be you get a great piece of advice!!

5- Praise Yourself- I have a habit of reading and re-reading the good things that people have said about me. I make a note of all the good things that I do in a week and read it at the weekend. It motivates me to do better in coming days. Self pride is a great motivator! Celebrate your small victories even, it will help you to win the battle!

We all have our own plans and a way to get the things done. Follow your instinct. Life is easy if we have a direction to move and it becomes interesting if we have goals to achieve. Set Goals. Work on your strategies and rework on it after sometime to get better results.

More Later,

🙂

The 3 Categories of Invitees for My Thanks Giving Day..

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We should be thankful to all the good people that we come across. We are blessed to have our families, friends and many others who hold us during the ups and downs of life. We build memories , spend our best times in presence of those who make us feel good. We learn to Respect Others, Empathy, Self-Respect, Culture, Sense of Responsibility and many other values from the people around us.

Life is a long journey of experiences and Real life isn’t always going to be perfect in the way you might have planned. At times, it introduces us to the people who don’t bring happy moments and good memories with them but when they leave ,they leave many noteworthy lessons behind. As we have a tradition to be thankful to the person who teaches us something,so we should be thankful to those people also who carries adverse situations in our lives because we get the supreme life lessons from the toughest people, We learn the most through the most aching experiences.  Along with our close ones why can’t we thankful to these people who bring distressing situations into our lives and teach us something unforgettable.

I Divide Those “Negative Teachers” Into 3 Categories to Thank Them-

1-  The Critics: We always need a push to prove ourselves, It  can come in the form of motivation but sometimes it comes in the form of criticism. Be Thankful to those who criticize you and doubt that you can’t achieve a certain thing. They indirectly work as a catalyst and motivate you to prove them wrong.

2– The Ex-Protectors: We become the Best Defender When We Fight Without a Shield. We should be thankful to those who leave you amid of a difficult situation and you have to deal with it alone. Their exit make you strong enough to become your own shield.

3- The Betrayer – We Learn to Trust and We Trust to Learn. The ones who betray us in any form gives us a broader prospect to look at every situation.  Recall the recent past and Pick such people from your life to thank them for making you wiser enough to understand that blind faith can make us blind to many facts and harm us in future.

We all have Different Lives, Different Experiences , Different Stories and Certainly Different Teachers also who have taught us different lessons. There are Many Others Categories , Filter Your Teachers and Be Thankful to Them for the Lessons!!


The Voice of Silence…

Every one has a lot to talk about, all have a lot to explain, our ears are bombarded with variety of sounds , our vision is always over crowded. Sometimes we find it actually back-breaking to avoid the unnecessary announcements . Few days back I read somewhere-We offer “The Peace of Silence” and I suddenly realized that now Silence has become a Unique Sell Property for many products. I saw an ad in a magazine which was not loaded with too many words still it conveyed all what it was meant for. It indicates that Words are not the only form to convey the messages.   

 

We search for silence most of the times but many of us still feel that Silence is a form of Inactivity. We are not working if we are not loud. People need to notice that the great writers reside at silent places to write their master piece! The uttermost stage of Meditation is also Silence. Because silence has an energy like no other energy source. It has the power to make people think and act, it can help to slow the mind down and produce more creative thinking. Silence brings peace and it is the foundation of being focused towards any of our goals.

We understand the power of silence and look for it in the outer world but do we ever try to create this silence in our own inner-selves? I am sure we don’t. Silence has its own sound, Create inner silence to hear the call of your inner self. Sometimes we deliver our best when we listen to our inner voice which has lost in the noise of the world.

Here I am sharing some practices to create Inner Silence-

Silence of “Speech”- 

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We hate to be proven wrong, so we try to validate our points by our extended speeches.We create noise when we speak without need and then we attract noise. Try to speak when it’s necessary. Learn to avoid negative speech, Stop giving hurtful, immortal expressions and later on practice complete Silence of Speech for sometime as per your convenience.

Silence of “Thoughts”

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Our mind creates a lot of noise, sometimes the intensity of this inner noise becomes higher than the intensity of outer noise and it creates anxiety , agitation, anger and depression also. People don’t realize it but we keep on fighting with this noise of our own thoughts. Try to leave some thoughts behind to create the silence. Start with negative ones. Leave the thoughts of Past, Anxiety, Fear, Failure and the ones that are troubling you for no reason. Filter good thoughts only to stay in your mind.

Silence of “Ego”-

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Ego has it’s own vocabulary. It creates a lot of internal and external noise. As I mentioned above that We hate to be proven wrong , yes this is a form of ego only and this ego creates the urge of explaining , we belittle others because of this ego only and it creates noise again. We should learn to accept others’ disagreement also if we are not right, it can solve many of the issues in our professional and personal life. So when you look for silence , leave the ego behind.

Silence of “Worries of Future”-

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If we focus on building a peaceful today then our future will eventually be peaceful. Each coming day is a part of future so focus more on utilizing each day in the best possible manner and deliver your best in every aspect. Plan for near future but not for ages because time brings a lot of reasons to change the pre-formulated strategies so try not to create a mental noise by thinking so much about unseen future. Sometimes its good to feel the thrill of encountering something unplanned! 

Though silence is being misinterpreted whenever we use it in the correlation of Tolerance. Here we need to apply our brain to decide where to use the power of silence and where to use the power of voice.

More Later,

 

Mechanism of A Realistic Thought!

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A human mind gets approx. 60,000 thoughts per day. We all wish to make our dreams come true. As it’s been ages since we are reading about the power of manifestation, visualization & thoughts etc. Then sometimes we wonder that why don’t we get desired results most of times despite following all the necessary techniques. We make a plan, visualize it’s success, work on a good action plan still sometimes plans don’t work out and possibility of “Change” occurs.

 There are many other factors also that make a thought come true. A Thought is made of 2 components-

1– Text-

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Text part is the flow chart of a Thought– The basics that we share with our mind. If we think of Sun, the text part will be the Image of the Sun. If we think of acquiring a Golf course then Our Position, Players , Ground & Acquisition Papers etc. will be the part of the text that will be sent to our mind.Text part doesn’t have any emotion attached to it. Text is only a small representation of our desire and these representations create primary database for our mind to work upon.

2- Associated Energy-

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I would define it as text-less component of a Thought. When we send an image to our mind ,instantly it generates emotions and emotions generate energy.  For instance, If I say – “She must be angry”- My mind will make her “Angry” image and accordingly emotions will be produced and energy will be released.  Intentionally or Unintentionally whenever we think of something positive or negative, we release an energy that goes into the universe and moves the circumstances accordingly. 

We get adverse results when we focus more on “What if it doesn’t work out” , because our mind weighs both positive and negative energies associated with any thought and universe works in the favour of the Winner!! So focus on the weight of the energy that our thoughts are emitting.

I would add one more supporting statement here, Just try holding a thought “ I am feeling great today” in your mind and notice how you feel when you hold this thought.

Again hold the same thought with more intensity by adding a smile to it, deep breath and your head up, this time you will feel more positive and more positive energy will be released. Now just reverse the process, start eliminating the positive elements from this thought and after sometime “ I am feeling great today” will remain nothing but a meaningless sentence.

Can you see the difference? It’s energy only that’s creating the difference!!  Wherever plan to start something with great intentions then load it with a lot of positive thoughts and energy.

If Text of a Thought is Body, then Associated Energy is the Soul, and it’s the soul only that makes a body alive!! Thoughts create our future but only when we add right energy to it.

More Later,

 

The Challenge of Change!!

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Hi!!

God made us in such a way that we adopt the pace of nature, climate change without much hassle. Days change so our attires and routines. What if we don’t change ourselves with the changing weather?? It will be uncomfortable and suffocating, Survival will be tough!! Right!!

In the same manner we have to face many changes in our lives also. We change places, we change jobs,  we see the change in the people around us. There are many things that keep on changing with the passes of time. We can’t standstill amid of flowing and floating river so we have to make the pace with the flow to survive, same goes with life too . There are certain events in life that we can’t control , we try hard to resist but sometimes it goes beyond the limit of resistance , then the best thing is to use this change in such a way that it becomes a blessing for us.

Here are few things that I learned When I Encountered the  Challenge of Change ! 

Time Shifts! Be Pliable to Flourish Through Change-   

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At the time when you are dealing with the absence of people , something that aches you badly then gather your all energy and think- Will it make any difference if you keep spoiling yourself for something that you can’t change? Will it make any difference in the lives of people if you keep yourself unhappy? I am sure the answer will be “NO”. Use this time to uncover your hidden talents, do something that you are good into and become an expert in your respective area. Make your talent your best friend and focus on being exceptionally good in one area if you have seen a tough time in any other area of life. 

When we loose something then God always gives us the insight to get something good in some other way, We just have to shift our eyes to the new goal.

Change is Unavoidable. Learning from Change is Your Choice-

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God always gives us the chance to make the choice and it depends upon our capability what we choose. In the transition period also we get the choice to learn the lessons. I always focus on learning from the smallest event even that I come across.  Time is like wind, we can’t stop its flow. We can simply learn from it and move ahead to meet new challenges. Forgive people, Leave sorrows behind but Don’t forget the lesson that you learn!

After all, A Lesson is a Good Thing That We Can Get From Even The Worst Events Of Our Lives!

Rise as A Victor Once Storm Passes Away-

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I read it somewhere and found it very true that Most of the Strong People, Have Had a Painful Past. But in their tough time, They denied to quit, They denied to fall apart, Took new chances and their choice made them what they are known for now.  Become so good in something that people fail to get your replacement. Discover your talent to make people realize that you are much more stronger than they think you are. There are many good things about your personality than the bad ones on which they rated you!!

It’s always our choice- Become a Victim or a Victor!

Make a Life that Others Wish to Read About-

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When we look for inspiration to achieve something great, We always love to read the Motivational Stories of People, Survival Stories, Social Changes for Which Somebody Tried Hard etc. etc. Focus on becoming like the one who motivates you. Be the writer of your own success story.

Take the challenge of Change and emerge as a Winner by making the best out of it. I am sure you will be happy a day on the fact that You are much more stronger than earlier after encountering this change.

At last, In the process of change, don’t leave the basic principle – “Be Good, Do Good and Expect Good Things to Happen” . Don’t Do Wrong With Anyone!! Peace comes to those who don’t hurt others.

 PEACE OF MIND IN THE END IS ALSO A SUCCESS!!

More Later,

The Worth of Past..

Hello Friends!! It’s always a blessing to be surrounded with the people who value you for what you are. We should treasure people on the basis of their value addition to our lives. But many times I find it very disturbing when I notice people criticizing somebody close to them on the basis of his “Not So Good” past while he has been proven good enough to get respect from others in his present days.  Many of us have a tendency to form an opinion about people on the basis of their past. Well I also don’t find it wrong to take the reference of past , when we encounter a stranger . The first introduction of a person begins with his/her past. (We can’t trust a terrorist blindly 🙂 )

 But What if we keep on doubting people and criticizing their good deeds and considering their past. We need to accept that people change and some incidences are big enough to change the whole story of somebody’s life.Moreover a person doesn’t have full control over every event that occurs into his life. There are many saints and philosophers who were not the same ones in their early lives, but something incidents made them what they are known for . (We say that Albert Einstein is one of the greatest scientists of all the times, who was once declared mentally sick during his childhood. Saint Nicholas was not a saint in his early life , Gautam Buddha was a Successor king before being a saint).  In one of my recent chats with a fellow he was criticizing one of his closed ones referring  to the past of that person. The saddest part of the story was- That person was extremely good with my fellow friend.

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Sometimes we forget that A person has to put a lot of courage to stand again from the betrayed stage and take  a new path. He gathers all the pieces of his scattered hopes, broken self esteem and left out energy to stand with his head up but we don’t leave a chance to make him recall the days which he wants to forget.  We have no idea that we put that person in the same pain again whenever we criticize him for his past. Should we hurt a person just because he has gone through the same pain earlier and came out of it so we can presume that he will tackle our misbehave this time also? Should we break somebody’s 2nd leg just because he is walking perfect with one broken leg? I leave the answers on you..

There are many people around who are dealing with such issues in their lives when they have to prove themselves right for the incidences that might have occurred in their past due to circumstances. We simply devalue something very special that a person is doing for us by considering that “It’s nothing new for this person, nothing special”. It can hurt a person to the non-recoverable level sometimes. Believe Me.

 I really wonder that when we are so good in judging someone by his past then why aren’t we good in analyzing someone by his present?

Next time before you think of talking about somebody’s past, I would suggest you to ask these questions to yourself

1-  Haven’t we done anything wrong in our lives?

2- Do we know the “whole story” of this person? Have we witnessed the series of events that occurred in his past and what were the circumstances then?

3- What matters more-  An untold past of someone or The present where the other person does all to make our days beautiful and memorable.

4-  Your place in other person’s life now .

5- What will be the impact of our criticism on the life of the other person.

I am sure once you introspect yourself and ask this questions to yourself then you will not criticize any of your closed ones again. A mistake can never be beyond the limit of being forgiven. Life is precious and so people.

As I say- Be Good, Do Good and Expect Good to Happen. Become the reason of somebody’s happiness, you will receive the same in some way. But If you are the reason of somebody’s grief in someway then you will get the same in some other way. Life pays us exactly same what we give to others and Karma knocks the door of all sooner or later. Spread Happiness to Receive It!! 

 This was a disturbing thought I think… Signing off for the day…

Leaving with just one message – No Past should be vast enough to cover the present of someone!!

More Later ,

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