Tag Archive | Pain

The Lessons That We Learn In Hard Way..

file.jpg

“People never learn anything by being told,
they have to find out for themselves.”
―Paulo Coelho

Few days back, I woke up with a text about a close one’s sudden demise. Few colleagues and friends called me as soon as they got the news and offered their help.In the midst of my sorrow I now realize this tragic loss made me to realize certain things.First, time has its own unrevealed mystery.  Second, In any case our lives don’t stop , Our inner selves are strong enough to heal themselves with the passing time.  And finally, just as it is difficult to see all the opportunities life gives you until you’re looking back, it is virtually impossible to fully understand certain life circumstances until they actually happen to you.

It’s a variation of this final point that I want to explore further today , Few lessons that we learn in the hard way-

  1. The people you lose remain a part of you-

Someday we all have to face the reality of loss , it can happen due to any worldly reason. And as life goes on, days rolling into nights, it becomes clear that you never really stop missing someone special who’s gone, you just learn to live around the gaping hole of their absence and somehow stop expecting them to come in your way.

When you lose someone you can’t imagine living without, your heart breaks wide open, and the bad news is you never completely get over the loss.  You will never forget them.  However, in a backwards way, this is also the good news.  They will live on in the warmth of your broken heart that doesn’t fully heal back up, and you will continue to grow and experience life, even with your wound.  It’s like badly breaking an ankle that never heals perfectly, and that still hurts when you dance, but you dance anyway with a slight limp, and this limp just adds to the depth of your performance and the authenticity of your character.

  1. Being Happy in the life is more about finding its meaning-

Pursuing happiness is not at all the same as being happy, which is a fleeting feeling dependent on momentary circumstances.  If the sun is shining, by all means bask in it.  Happy times are great and often fun-filled, but happy times pass, because time passes.  This is something we rarely grasp at first and we again start seeking for happiness…

So better to find the meaning of your life and do something that gives peace to your soul. Desires are good but we have to put a stop somewhere to enjoy that we have in present.What you are really pursuing is meaning – living a meaningful life.  It starts with your “why.”  (Why are you doing what you’re doing with your life?)  When your “why” is meaningful, you are pursuing happiness.  There will be times when things go so wrong that you barely feel alive.  And there will also be times when you realize that being barely alive, on your own terms, is better than living a lifeless existence for eighty years on someone else’s terms.  The pursuit isn’t all or nothing; it’s all AND nothing, with ups and downs and worthwhile lessons along the way.

  1. Seeking validation from others invalidates YOU.

Has the fear of rejection held you back?  Have you ever been so fearful of what others might think or say about you that it kept you from taking positive action?  I bet you’re shaking your head, “yes.” It’s time to change your mindset…

Today, the only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.  Prove yourself to yourself, not others.  You are GOOD enough, SMART enough, FINE enough, and STRONG enough.  You don’t need other people to validate you; you are already valuable.If someone says “no” to you, or if someone says something negative about you, that doesn’t change anything about YOU.  The words and opinions of others have no real bearing on your worth.  Certainly it can be helpful and desirable to make a good impression in certain situations, yet it’s not the end of the world when you are faced with rejection. It’s great to receive positive feedback, but it simply doesn’t always happen.  That’s OK though, because you know where you’re headed and you know your true worth does not depend on the judgment of others.  When you set out to make a true difference in life, there will be those who disagree with you, those who ignore you, and those who flat out reject your ideas and efforts.  Look beyond them, step confidently forward, do what must be done, and let people make their own stories.

  1. Regret hurts far worse than fear.

When we give in to our fears, we have a harder time looking at ourselves in the mirror.  Sadly, very few of us escape learning this lesson firsthand.  If you have already experienced this a time or two, you know what you need to do.

It is only when we risk losing that we truly open the possibility to win.  Whether it is quitting your job to build a business, running a marathon, or traveling to unknown parts of the world, any worthy endeavor requires risk, struggle and sacrifice.  Some of these things may even terrify you, but ask yourself if these fears are stronger than the most powerful of fears, the fear of a wasted life?

If you’ve never lost your mind, you’ve never followed your heart.  It’s better to look back on life and say, “I can’t believe I did that,” than to look back and say, “I wish I did that.”  Don’t let time pass you by like a hand waving from a train you desperately want to be on.  Don’t spend the rest of your life thinking about why you didn’t do what you can do right now.  Live your life.  Take risks.  Feel passion.  Discover love. Stay Foolish. Go Crazy. 

Set yourself free to follow the instinct of your heart.

  1. Life is too unpredictable for rigid expectations.

When you stop predicting and expecting things to be a certain way, you can appreciate them for what they are.  Ultimately you will realize that life’s greatest gifts are rarely wrapped the way you expected. 🙂 

Let situations come in your life, let the fate play its role, With a positive attitude and an open mind, you will find that life isn’t necessarily any easier or harder than you thought it was going to be; it’s just that “the easy” and “the hard” aren’t exactly the way you had anticipated, and don’t always occur when you expect them to.  This isn’t a bad thing; it makes life interesting. Trust me Life is Good Anyway… 

Ninety-nine percent of the time life delivers the experiences that are most helpful for your personal growth.  How do you know it’s the experience you need?  Because it’s the experience you’re having.  The only question is:  Will you embrace it and grow, or fight it and fade?????

  1.  Hardships are inevitable and helpful.

Nobody in this world is going to blindside you and hit you as hard as life will. Sometimes life will beat you to the ground and try to keep you there if you let it.  But it’s not about how hard life can hit you, it’s about how hard you can be hit while continuing to move forward.  That’s what true strength is, and that’s what winning the game of life is all about.When you have a lot to cry and complain about, but you prefer to smile and take a step forward instead, you are growing stronger.  Work through your struggles and hardships.  Even when it feels like things are falling apart, they’re not.  Take control of your emotions before they take control of you.  Everything will fall into place eventually.  Until then, learn what you can, laugh often, live for the moments, and know that it’s all worthwhile in the end.

At Last, the key is to stay good and do good to others, Rest will follow. The Most important lessons of life come with harsh , heart wrenching experience. Take the life as a learning school and welcome everything that comes your way!! 

Happy Living!! Happy Learning!!

More Later,

 

The Worth of Past..

Hello Friends!! It’s always a blessing to be surrounded with the people who value you for what you are. We should treasure people on the basis of their value addition to our lives. But many times I find it very disturbing when I notice people criticizing somebody close to them on the basis of his “Not So Good” past while he has been proven good enough to get respect from others in his present days.  Many of us have a tendency to form an opinion about people on the basis of their past. Well I also don’t find it wrong to take the reference of past , when we encounter a stranger . The first introduction of a person begins with his/her past. (We can’t trust a terrorist blindly 🙂 )

 But What if we keep on doubting people and criticizing their good deeds and considering their past. We need to accept that people change and some incidences are big enough to change the whole story of somebody’s life.Moreover a person doesn’t have full control over every event that occurs into his life. There are many saints and philosophers who were not the same ones in their early lives, but something incidents made them what they are known for . (We say that Albert Einstein is one of the greatest scientists of all the times, who was once declared mentally sick during his childhood. Saint Nicholas was not a saint in his early life , Gautam Buddha was a Successor king before being a saint).  In one of my recent chats with a fellow he was criticizing one of his closed ones referring  to the past of that person. The saddest part of the story was- That person was extremely good with my fellow friend.

download

Sometimes we forget that A person has to put a lot of courage to stand again from the betrayed stage and take  a new path. He gathers all the pieces of his scattered hopes, broken self esteem and left out energy to stand with his head up but we don’t leave a chance to make him recall the days which he wants to forget.  We have no idea that we put that person in the same pain again whenever we criticize him for his past. Should we hurt a person just because he has gone through the same pain earlier and came out of it so we can presume that he will tackle our misbehave this time also? Should we break somebody’s 2nd leg just because he is walking perfect with one broken leg? I leave the answers on you..

There are many people around who are dealing with such issues in their lives when they have to prove themselves right for the incidences that might have occurred in their past due to circumstances. We simply devalue something very special that a person is doing for us by considering that “It’s nothing new for this person, nothing special”. It can hurt a person to the non-recoverable level sometimes. Believe Me.

 I really wonder that when we are so good in judging someone by his past then why aren’t we good in analyzing someone by his present?

Next time before you think of talking about somebody’s past, I would suggest you to ask these questions to yourself

1-  Haven’t we done anything wrong in our lives?

2- Do we know the “whole story” of this person? Have we witnessed the series of events that occurred in his past and what were the circumstances then?

3- What matters more-  An untold past of someone or The present where the other person does all to make our days beautiful and memorable.

4-  Your place in other person’s life now .

5- What will be the impact of our criticism on the life of the other person.

I am sure once you introspect yourself and ask this questions to yourself then you will not criticize any of your closed ones again. A mistake can never be beyond the limit of being forgiven. Life is precious and so people.

As I say- Be Good, Do Good and Expect Good to Happen. Become the reason of somebody’s happiness, you will receive the same in some way. But If you are the reason of somebody’s grief in someway then you will get the same in some other way. Life pays us exactly same what we give to others and Karma knocks the door of all sooner or later. Spread Happiness to Receive It!! 

 This was a disturbing thought I think… Signing off for the day…

Leaving with just one message – No Past should be vast enough to cover the present of someone!!

More Later ,