Tag Archive | Questions

The Lessons That We Learn In Hard Way..

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“People never learn anything by being told,
they have to find out for themselves.”
―Paulo Coelho

Few days back, I woke up with a text about a close one’s sudden demise. Few colleagues and friends called me as soon as they got the news and offered their help.In the midst of my sorrow I now realize this tragic loss made me to realize certain things.First, time has its own unrevealed mystery.  Second, In any case our lives don’t stop , Our inner selves are strong enough to heal themselves with the passing time.  And finally, just as it is difficult to see all the opportunities life gives you until you’re looking back, it is virtually impossible to fully understand certain life circumstances until they actually happen to you.

It’s a variation of this final point that I want to explore further today , Few lessons that we learn in the hard way-

  1. The people you lose remain a part of you-

Someday we all have to face the reality of loss , it can happen due to any worldly reason. And as life goes on, days rolling into nights, it becomes clear that you never really stop missing someone special who’s gone, you just learn to live around the gaping hole of their absence and somehow stop expecting them to come in your way.

When you lose someone you can’t imagine living without, your heart breaks wide open, and the bad news is you never completely get over the loss.  You will never forget them.  However, in a backwards way, this is also the good news.  They will live on in the warmth of your broken heart that doesn’t fully heal back up, and you will continue to grow and experience life, even with your wound.  It’s like badly breaking an ankle that never heals perfectly, and that still hurts when you dance, but you dance anyway with a slight limp, and this limp just adds to the depth of your performance and the authenticity of your character.

  1. Being Happy in the life is more about finding its meaning-

Pursuing happiness is not at all the same as being happy, which is a fleeting feeling dependent on momentary circumstances.  If the sun is shining, by all means bask in it.  Happy times are great and often fun-filled, but happy times pass, because time passes.  This is something we rarely grasp at first and we again start seeking for happiness…

So better to find the meaning of your life and do something that gives peace to your soul. Desires are good but we have to put a stop somewhere to enjoy that we have in present.What you are really pursuing is meaning – living a meaningful life.  It starts with your “why.”  (Why are you doing what you’re doing with your life?)  When your “why” is meaningful, you are pursuing happiness.  There will be times when things go so wrong that you barely feel alive.  And there will also be times when you realize that being barely alive, on your own terms, is better than living a lifeless existence for eighty years on someone else’s terms.  The pursuit isn’t all or nothing; it’s all AND nothing, with ups and downs and worthwhile lessons along the way.

  1. Seeking validation from others invalidates YOU.

Has the fear of rejection held you back?  Have you ever been so fearful of what others might think or say about you that it kept you from taking positive action?  I bet you’re shaking your head, “yes.” It’s time to change your mindset…

Today, the only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.  Prove yourself to yourself, not others.  You are GOOD enough, SMART enough, FINE enough, and STRONG enough.  You don’t need other people to validate you; you are already valuable.If someone says “no” to you, or if someone says something negative about you, that doesn’t change anything about YOU.  The words and opinions of others have no real bearing on your worth.  Certainly it can be helpful and desirable to make a good impression in certain situations, yet it’s not the end of the world when you are faced with rejection. It’s great to receive positive feedback, but it simply doesn’t always happen.  That’s OK though, because you know where you’re headed and you know your true worth does not depend on the judgment of others.  When you set out to make a true difference in life, there will be those who disagree with you, those who ignore you, and those who flat out reject your ideas and efforts.  Look beyond them, step confidently forward, do what must be done, and let people make their own stories.

  1. Regret hurts far worse than fear.

When we give in to our fears, we have a harder time looking at ourselves in the mirror.  Sadly, very few of us escape learning this lesson firsthand.  If you have already experienced this a time or two, you know what you need to do.

It is only when we risk losing that we truly open the possibility to win.  Whether it is quitting your job to build a business, running a marathon, or traveling to unknown parts of the world, any worthy endeavor requires risk, struggle and sacrifice.  Some of these things may even terrify you, but ask yourself if these fears are stronger than the most powerful of fears, the fear of a wasted life?

If you’ve never lost your mind, you’ve never followed your heart.  It’s better to look back on life and say, “I can’t believe I did that,” than to look back and say, “I wish I did that.”  Don’t let time pass you by like a hand waving from a train you desperately want to be on.  Don’t spend the rest of your life thinking about why you didn’t do what you can do right now.  Live your life.  Take risks.  Feel passion.  Discover love. Stay Foolish. Go Crazy. 

Set yourself free to follow the instinct of your heart.

  1. Life is too unpredictable for rigid expectations.

When you stop predicting and expecting things to be a certain way, you can appreciate them for what they are.  Ultimately you will realize that life’s greatest gifts are rarely wrapped the way you expected. 🙂 

Let situations come in your life, let the fate play its role, With a positive attitude and an open mind, you will find that life isn’t necessarily any easier or harder than you thought it was going to be; it’s just that “the easy” and “the hard” aren’t exactly the way you had anticipated, and don’t always occur when you expect them to.  This isn’t a bad thing; it makes life interesting. Trust me Life is Good Anyway… 

Ninety-nine percent of the time life delivers the experiences that are most helpful for your personal growth.  How do you know it’s the experience you need?  Because it’s the experience you’re having.  The only question is:  Will you embrace it and grow, or fight it and fade?????

  1.  Hardships are inevitable and helpful.

Nobody in this world is going to blindside you and hit you as hard as life will. Sometimes life will beat you to the ground and try to keep you there if you let it.  But it’s not about how hard life can hit you, it’s about how hard you can be hit while continuing to move forward.  That’s what true strength is, and that’s what winning the game of life is all about.When you have a lot to cry and complain about, but you prefer to smile and take a step forward instead, you are growing stronger.  Work through your struggles and hardships.  Even when it feels like things are falling apart, they’re not.  Take control of your emotions before they take control of you.  Everything will fall into place eventually.  Until then, learn what you can, laugh often, live for the moments, and know that it’s all worthwhile in the end.

At Last, the key is to stay good and do good to others, Rest will follow. The Most important lessons of life come with harsh , heart wrenching experience. Take the life as a learning school and welcome everything that comes your way!! 

Happy Living!! Happy Learning!!

More Later,

 

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The Unanswered Questions…

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There is a saying “What we seek is seeking us”. I am among those who firmly believe in such statements. But there are many people among us who struggle a lot due to their own thoughts, They keep on fighting a war inside their own mind. Despite seeking the answers of few questions, they left unanswered. There are many such questions which remain unanswered for a long time.We try to move forward with passing days but somewhere deep inside us those questions keep punching us. Their punches become so hard at times that we feel an extremely painful restlessness and crave to get the answers anyhow. As there is nobody in the outer world to answer so we return with disappointment and it adds more burden over our hearts and next time these punches become even harder.

Do we ever try to know why we have to become a victim of such situations? Who punches exactly on our souls?? These are our own heavy chains of expectations from people and relationships which keep on haunting us. We become the prisoner of our self-created cell. “We are the most responsible person for our happiness”- Widely heard Statement, Right? So isn’t it our responsibility to free ourselves from the chains of the past and from those expectations that will never be met by the people. Who cares for us, will never leave us in such situations, and who doesn’t care should not have a grip on our souls to punch us.

So what has to be done to be free from these chains which are bounded and wounded our souls.

Sharing few widely said practices to remove this burden-

1-   Let all the questions flow into your mind, let them come, Feel them then eliminate the ones that are not going to affect your future in any positive way. It’s not a tough task, We mainly worry about such hypothetical situations that may never occur in our lives. To free ourselves we need to identify such thoughts and start leaving them away.

2- Ask Yourself – Do you have those willing people around who can answer you? If not then better not to keep thinking about it because our own thoughts will only add more to these questions without giving any answer, practice the 1st point mentioned above and set yourself free.

3- Forgive Other to the Most Possible Limit– There are certain events which a person can’t forget and my little experience says that our characters are made of such unforgettable events only because we learn the most out of such events.. And mostly we fail to forgive the person who caused that event. Any loss is not big enough to spoil your life, God always compensates us so well for all the losses. So try to forgive people who have not been good to you. It will not help them but you, the less you curse, the less you think and lesser your soul will be burdened.

4- Focus on Making a Great Today- We all have inherent potentials that can lead us to great accomplishments. A bitter past has nothing to do with our present. Make peace with your past and focus on present. This peace will eventually come when you will decide to set yourself free from the chains of past. It’s always in our hands to discover our talents and use your potential in the right direction. We need to divert our thoughts from painful past to promising present. Do all that can raise your mark in both your personal and professional life. Time is the best doctor and best judge, leave few things on the universe. Everyone gets the return of his deeds.

5- There is an old saying– “ Everything happens for a reason”. Our questions start decreasing when we truly accept this fact. We can’t see those reasons at the first place but sooner or later we get to know the reason of everything. If you feel that you were treated bad , then be assured God already has planned to compensate it by rewarding you with something extremely good and the one who treated you bad will pay for it someday.

Among many other ways, This is my way to deal with unanswered questions. We have heard it many times but don’t implement. Set yourself free from the chains of those questions, Life has much more to offer us , we only need the eyes to see the good things happening around. Have faith, Almighty is the most honest judge. Focus on your present , Rest all will be taken care by the justice of nature!!