Tag Archive | Support

The Lessons That We Learn In Hard Way..

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“People never learn anything by being told,
they have to find out for themselves.”
―Paulo Coelho

Few days back, I woke up with a text about a close one’s sudden demise. Few colleagues and friends called me as soon as they got the news and offered their help.In the midst of my sorrow I now realize this tragic loss made me to realize certain things.First, time has its own unrevealed mystery.  Second, In any case our lives don’t stop , Our inner selves are strong enough to heal themselves with the passing time.  And finally, just as it is difficult to see all the opportunities life gives you until you’re looking back, it is virtually impossible to fully understand certain life circumstances until they actually happen to you.

It’s a variation of this final point that I want to explore further today , Few lessons that we learn in the hard way-

  1. The people you lose remain a part of you-

Someday we all have to face the reality of loss , it can happen due to any worldly reason. And as life goes on, days rolling into nights, it becomes clear that you never really stop missing someone special who’s gone, you just learn to live around the gaping hole of their absence and somehow stop expecting them to come in your way.

When you lose someone you can’t imagine living without, your heart breaks wide open, and the bad news is you never completely get over the loss.  You will never forget them.  However, in a backwards way, this is also the good news.  They will live on in the warmth of your broken heart that doesn’t fully heal back up, and you will continue to grow and experience life, even with your wound.  It’s like badly breaking an ankle that never heals perfectly, and that still hurts when you dance, but you dance anyway with a slight limp, and this limp just adds to the depth of your performance and the authenticity of your character.

  1. Being Happy in the life is more about finding its meaning-

Pursuing happiness is not at all the same as being happy, which is a fleeting feeling dependent on momentary circumstances.  If the sun is shining, by all means bask in it.  Happy times are great and often fun-filled, but happy times pass, because time passes.  This is something we rarely grasp at first and we again start seeking for happiness…

So better to find the meaning of your life and do something that gives peace to your soul. Desires are good but we have to put a stop somewhere to enjoy that we have in present.What you are really pursuing is meaning – living a meaningful life.  It starts with your “why.”  (Why are you doing what you’re doing with your life?)  When your “why” is meaningful, you are pursuing happiness.  There will be times when things go so wrong that you barely feel alive.  And there will also be times when you realize that being barely alive, on your own terms, is better than living a lifeless existence for eighty years on someone else’s terms.  The pursuit isn’t all or nothing; it’s all AND nothing, with ups and downs and worthwhile lessons along the way.

  1. Seeking validation from others invalidates YOU.

Has the fear of rejection held you back?  Have you ever been so fearful of what others might think or say about you that it kept you from taking positive action?  I bet you’re shaking your head, “yes.” It’s time to change your mindset…

Today, the only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.  Prove yourself to yourself, not others.  You are GOOD enough, SMART enough, FINE enough, and STRONG enough.  You don’t need other people to validate you; you are already valuable.If someone says “no” to you, or if someone says something negative about you, that doesn’t change anything about YOU.  The words and opinions of others have no real bearing on your worth.  Certainly it can be helpful and desirable to make a good impression in certain situations, yet it’s not the end of the world when you are faced with rejection. It’s great to receive positive feedback, but it simply doesn’t always happen.  That’s OK though, because you know where you’re headed and you know your true worth does not depend on the judgment of others.  When you set out to make a true difference in life, there will be those who disagree with you, those who ignore you, and those who flat out reject your ideas and efforts.  Look beyond them, step confidently forward, do what must be done, and let people make their own stories.

  1. Regret hurts far worse than fear.

When we give in to our fears, we have a harder time looking at ourselves in the mirror.  Sadly, very few of us escape learning this lesson firsthand.  If you have already experienced this a time or two, you know what you need to do.

It is only when we risk losing that we truly open the possibility to win.  Whether it is quitting your job to build a business, running a marathon, or traveling to unknown parts of the world, any worthy endeavor requires risk, struggle and sacrifice.  Some of these things may even terrify you, but ask yourself if these fears are stronger than the most powerful of fears, the fear of a wasted life?

If you’ve never lost your mind, you’ve never followed your heart.  It’s better to look back on life and say, “I can’t believe I did that,” than to look back and say, “I wish I did that.”  Don’t let time pass you by like a hand waving from a train you desperately want to be on.  Don’t spend the rest of your life thinking about why you didn’t do what you can do right now.  Live your life.  Take risks.  Feel passion.  Discover love. Stay Foolish. Go Crazy. 

Set yourself free to follow the instinct of your heart.

  1. Life is too unpredictable for rigid expectations.

When you stop predicting and expecting things to be a certain way, you can appreciate them for what they are.  Ultimately you will realize that life’s greatest gifts are rarely wrapped the way you expected. 🙂 

Let situations come in your life, let the fate play its role, With a positive attitude and an open mind, you will find that life isn’t necessarily any easier or harder than you thought it was going to be; it’s just that “the easy” and “the hard” aren’t exactly the way you had anticipated, and don’t always occur when you expect them to.  This isn’t a bad thing; it makes life interesting. Trust me Life is Good Anyway… 

Ninety-nine percent of the time life delivers the experiences that are most helpful for your personal growth.  How do you know it’s the experience you need?  Because it’s the experience you’re having.  The only question is:  Will you embrace it and grow, or fight it and fade?????

  1.  Hardships are inevitable and helpful.

Nobody in this world is going to blindside you and hit you as hard as life will. Sometimes life will beat you to the ground and try to keep you there if you let it.  But it’s not about how hard life can hit you, it’s about how hard you can be hit while continuing to move forward.  That’s what true strength is, and that’s what winning the game of life is all about.When you have a lot to cry and complain about, but you prefer to smile and take a step forward instead, you are growing stronger.  Work through your struggles and hardships.  Even when it feels like things are falling apart, they’re not.  Take control of your emotions before they take control of you.  Everything will fall into place eventually.  Until then, learn what you can, laugh often, live for the moments, and know that it’s all worthwhile in the end.

At Last, the key is to stay good and do good to others, Rest will follow. The Most important lessons of life come with harsh , heart wrenching experience. Take the life as a learning school and welcome everything that comes your way!! 

Happy Living!! Happy Learning!!

More Later,

 

Let’s Be Strong to Say a “Goodbye”!!

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Hello Friends!! The beginning of a New Week!! I have full faith that all of us will lead to more joy, happiness and achievements this week..

Today my post is driven by the circumstances of people around me. Many of us have dealt with the absence of some people in our lives , who used to mean a lot for us at a point of time. This situation of letting people go becomes completely uncontrollable for many of us.  Yes , It’s a tough hack to master, purely because we get attached to all the living/non living objects very easily. We try so desperately to hold on to things even when they’ve served us beyond their purpose.

It might bring sadness, heartache,regret, tears and break down but each loss takes us on a journey which makes us stronger. Forgive people for the grief that you might have suffered because of them but don’t forget the lesson!! It will make you wiser.

Losing people is a natural part of growing up, but when we’re encompassed in a society that is constantly changing, we mainly believe that everyone we lose is a loss occurred which is really not the case!! It’s not necessary that it’s our fault or we are not good enough when we have to loose someone, or we are not meant to be surrounded by good people or the people we desire for, so this loss happened.

Just flip the coin!! 🙂 Look at the other side now- Probably we are not with a particular person now, because s/he has taught us all the necessary lessons, probably we are meant to achieve something much more than just being into a particular relation and that person was hindering our way , probably that person was not a deserving one and we were not able to see his/her real side so God took the charge and expelled him/her from our lives, or may be we both are good but we weren’t meant to be together 🙂 We were sent on the earth to enlighten the lives of many others. Remember even in a battle , King doesn’t send all his best soldiers in one direction, he has to divide them and send them in diverse directions to save more and more people. This can be same with us , God diversified us to spread happiness in the lives of more people so we are not together, People cross our ways when alike minds meet and after teaching all the necessary lessons , God brings “separation” in the story but We should not blame people or the almighty for this. We should be grateful to the people and nature for the blessings/ lessons that we got from a particular incident /relation.

If we really know that we have been cheated in someway or other then we should not cry for the culprits. Let him go, who wants to leave. Hindering the way of somebody can’t form a strong relation. Make the exit easy for people and yourself. Trust me, you will grow in folds after leaving a painful relation behind. The one who doesn’t value you, who doesn’t care about your presence and absence , has no right to be with you.

Don’t forget that – Who can’t stand for us, Doesn’t deserve to stay with us. Every relationship is a learning curve, so instead of mourning the people who aren’t present, we should celebrate filtering people out who no longer serve as support.

Loss can be one of the most painful feelings to endure but over time, the pain lessens and our eyes are opened to the fact that we don’t actually need that person anymore who couldn’t value our existence in his/her life. In the end- I believe on one fact which makes this ” People Filtration” easy for me, that is- Who wants to be with you , will find a way, Who is not willing enough to be with you, will again find a way” So better to let people decide first and follow afterwords, it will be less complicated for you to reciprocate their reaction.

Picking up the pieces, planting a smile on our faces and finding comfort in the fact that things will get better is the first step toward learning to be truly happy on our own. Because, what’s the point in wasting our time and energy on people who remain standstill?

We need to stop trying to force things because we’re scared to be without someone. We need to stop worrying, and start believing that things will be okay in the end. If things aren’t okay, it’s not the end.

If someone doesn’t treat us how we deserve, we shouldn’t accept their behavior just because it’s what we think we deserve. We don’t have to settle.

People have an unhealthy habit of hurting the ones closest to them, but we can choose not to be victim and go away from this breed of people.

While it’s hard to accept that not everyone who enters our life is meant to stay, we as human beings are built to encounter new people. We’re designed to explore, discover and grow, and not be held back by people who don’t have the same capacity as us.

So when we feel like we’re falling apart, we need to remind ourselves how that person made us feel. Not when we were naively content, but when we were achingly sad and bitterly confused.

Life is too short to be anything but happy- Have heard it!! Right!! Then why not to accept it and be Happy!! Learn to surround yourself with people who matter. We either grow with, or grow apart from people, and if it doesn’t feel right, it might be best to let it go.

People will become strangers and distant memories, but we don’t ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from our lives. Play your part honestly and become a good memory for all.

Nobody has the right to infect us with negativity and doubt. As i mention in all my posts – Please have faith in the justice of almighty. Justice will take place at the most unexpected time, in the most unexpected manner, in some way or other. But it will surely happen. Universe is an ECHO- we receive what we  emit, if we give smiles to others then we’ll receive the same and if we are the reason of somebody’s tears or sadness,We’ll get it a day in any form.

After all Our broken moments don’t define us. It’s how we deal with them that does- Believe It!! 

Happy Week Ahead !

More Later,